11 Things Only Bird Owners Understand

You Get Pooped on Regularly—But You Don’t Care

Show me someone who is unfazed by getting pooped on by a bird and I'll show you a veteran bird owner. Most people would freak out if a bird pooped on them, but for bird owners, misplaced poop is a regular occurrence. Poop on the shoulder? Let me just dab it with a napkin. Poop on the shoe? It'll wipe right off (Even though there's a right way to clean bird poop off of clothes).  

Just imagine if being pooped on was a regular occurrence for dog or cat owners. 

You Bathe With Your Bird

For many people, a daily shower is a private time to prepare for the day ahead or reflect on the day's events. This certainly cannot be said for parrot owners. 

Parrots absolutely love to get soaked with water, so many owners bring 'em right into the bathroom when they shower. Why waste time and water with a separate birdie bath, right? Plus, if you love to belt it out in the shower, having your bird nearby offers the perfect opportunity for a bath time duet.

Your Bird Eats Better Food Than You

You’ll eat whatever conventionally grown, mass-produced food is on sale at the grocery store. But when it comes to your bird’s fruits and veggies, it’s all homegrown, pesticide-free, organic produce. You might even have dedicated (read: off-limits) drawer in your fridge for your bird’s eats.

You’d Rather Talk to Your Bird Than Most of Your Family Members

Hey, no judgment here—it’s a known fact that many birds are better conversationalists than distant relatives. Even if your bird only knows a few simple words or phrases, talking to him is way better than talking politics with your great uncle or your love life with that weird second cousin. 

You Have a “Quiet Room,” So Your Bird Can’t Interrupt Phone Calls

If you’ve ever taken a conference call from inside your kitchen pantry or bedroom closet, there’s a good chance you have a pet bird. Some birds are so apt to squawk, squeal, laugh, or mimic when their owners are on the phone, many people have a “quiet room” where they can take phone calls—in peace and quiet. 

Your Bird Has More Toys Than Most Kids

It’s no secret: Bird toys are not cheap. But most bird owners don’t give dropping $15 on a toy their bird will (inevitably) destroy within a week a second thought. Who can resist buying a cool, colorful, new toy for their feathered friends, anyway?!

Your Bird’s Cage Is Basically a Palace

Your house is pretty comfortable. There’s enough room for your family and friends, and you can host a few overnight guests at a time—but it’s nothing over the top. Your bird’s cage? It’s totally tricked out with the highest quality powder-coated steel wire, entire east and west wings (ha-get it), and maybe even a tiny, bird-sized entertainment room or gym. 

Your Bird Gets More Attention Than Anyone Else in the House

If you have a bird, you know how much she adores getting attention. Oh, you’re having some friends over for dinner? She’ll put on a song and dance. Chatting on the phone with an annoying customer service representative? Now seems like a great time for her to scream super loud. Trying to get out the door and get to work? You better not forget to shower her with attention for a few minutes first. 

Your Bird's Chewing Is Worse Than Your Dog's

Sure, doggies get all the blame for inappropriate chewing, but the trust is, your bird is just as bad (or worse!) than Fido. From furniture, to clothing, to shoes, to your kids' toys, she'll chew up—and maybe even destroy!—whatever she can get her tiny, little beak on. 

Your Bird Is a Better Dancer Than You

It doesn't take much to get a bird to boogey—music, the television, or even humans speaking can inspire a bird to show off his best moves. You, on the other hand? It takes several, strong drinks, hours of cajoling by your partner, and a whole lot of courage to bust out the Electric Slide at a distant relative's wedding.

There's No Better Pet to Come Home to

At the end of the day, there's nothing better than greeting your feathered friend and hanging out with her on your shoulder—even if that means getting pooped on.